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shitposting & news

Resurrection — byadmin at30/07/22 (Sat) 09:16:03

I reached into the depths of hell and pulled a pre-lynxchan copy of the site. NPFchan fucked their shit but I've unfucked it just for (you).

The BOOMER Administration — by at06/02/20 (Thu) 12:54:48

The Huggie Wuggie council you once knew is no more. Its membership have all sworn loyalty to the BOOMER Administration.

Boomer Facts — by30yob at16/01/19 (Wed) 07:15:44

We have gone through many changes and witnessed so many things, good, bad. Here are some Boomer facts ( along with my take)and most of them are pretty Johnny on the Spot.

#1. Most of us are Faithful and God Fearing, not Godless. There’s no other explanation!

#2 Boomers are Patriotic and always will be. We will go down protesting and fighting the craziness that is being shoved down our throats.

#3 Boomers grew up with strong work ethics. We believe that you work and earn an honest living to survive. That is why many Boomers, are to this day, still getting up and going to work.

#4 “Resourceful” is our middle name. We know how to make something out of nothing. We do this mostly from necessity, but also because we like “tinker,” whether it be an old car or a recipe.

#5 Boomers are pretty disciplined. We grew up knowing that there are consequences to every situation, and you better be able to deliver, stand behind your word, “keep your nose clean,” mind your own “bidness,” and help those in need!!!!!!

#6. Boomers are competitive., but not the kind of super-hero, self indulging, over-paid, jocks we see strutting around today. We look at completion as fun, something you share with family, friends and the occasional foe with a big mouth, that has a $100 he’s itching to get rid of.

#7 Boomers are traditional. MOST of us are not swayed by the NEW WORLD IDEAS. We take care of those, who deserve to be taken care of, not those who want to be taken care of. BIG difference there! If this nation, in which we, live in, would open their glazed- over eyes, just a little, and look beyond their selfish, greedy, noses, changes would happen as God intended. Oh, I forgot, you have to believe in God, not yourself.

#8 Boomers are HILARIOUS. We can laugh at ourselves and we can laugh at each other without guilt and with love. We learned this as small children and it has stayed with us into our “golden years.” Boomers laugh about everything, from hearing loss to adult diapers. How else would we survive the things we see today?

#9 Most of us Boomers are “focused mentally.” We always have been, because are parents didn’t give us many choices. It was their way or the switch. Good training examples that kids don’t see today. It set the field for some pretty darn good folks if you ask me, which you didn’t, and I am becoming unfocused. How bout that Cowboys game?

#10 Boomers are full of LOVE. After all, we were the flower children of the 60’s. Seriously, we are the most loving generation. We would LOVE to feel great again. We would LOVE to get theses cataracts removed. We would love to not pee in our pants every time we stood up. We would love to hear you say I LOVE YOU, and mean it.

30yoBs Engineering - Infrastructure — by30yob at14/11/18 (Wed) 10:27:51

A few people have asked about what kind of “script” we use for 30yoBs, as well as asking for our HTML templates. We aren’t a third rate PHP Wordpress site you fucking mouth-breathers.

I’ll go through some of the infrastructure details of our system below, read on if you’re a serious nerd/hacker.

• The majority of the business logic of the site is written in COBOL. Our file serving system as well as our emergency backup system is written in Ada, a language suited for writing life-critical systems. We were forced to use Ada after a Panamanian court ruled that our site needed to conform to standards for writing life-critical systems because if the site went down, many of our users would die as a result of the blood rushing out of their penises from not being able to view hentai.
• The site runs completely on a single IBM AS400 server computer that I’ve hooked my comatose vegetable uncle up to via a brain-computer interface(BCI). We use a heavily modified variant of nginx we developed in-house that can interface with him via insulin injections and electric shocks that cause muscle spasms. A rectal rehydration tube supplies him with nutrients to keep him functioning.
• We use IBM System R as our database.
• Our images are all stored on magnetic tape drives in an IBM 3850 Mass Storage System.
• For search, we have imprisoned hundreds of Chinese children in our underground dungeon. During their shifts, they are chained to desks equipped with feeding pipes and terminals with an uplink to our database. When a search query comes through, they query the database and perform pattern matching by hand to generate results. The first to come up with results gets a small amount of gruel siphoned through his feed pipe. The children who don’t perform well enough are not fed, and eventually die of starvation. Their corpses are consumed by the other children.
• Everything is housed in our corporate headquarters, a defunct Soviet missile silo under 24/7 supervision by armed guards.

Before you ask, no, you probably couldn’t implement it easier/cheaper.

What happens when you visit a page on 30yoBs:

1. Request arrives. Comatose uncle uses the rudimentary motor function he has retained to encode the request data into COBOL-readable format and stamp it on a punch card using a jerry-rigged desk sized keypunch. The massive brain trauma my uncle has sustained has granted him the savant-like ability to process many requests concurrently with extreme efficiency.
2. A robot arm feeds the punch card into a reader attached to the IBM AS400. Application determines the necessary data to satisfy the request and prepares it accordingly.
3. Another robot arm equipped with a barcode scanner retrieves the tape drive(s) containing the requested images(if any), from the IBM 3850.
4. Drives are read by the AS400, data is serialized and sent as a response.

During peak load times, we’ve found that we sometimes need to beat my uncle and threaten to disconnect his feeding tube if he is not serving requests fast enough.

Our first mail — by30yob at13/11/18 (Tue) 06:05:23

Hi everyone, we got out first email today. I've redacted the sender's name for privacy:


I would like to complain about the lack of hate speech on 30yobs. It doesn't go far enough I want to see some real negro lynchings.

Also some form of skin verification to ensure the purity of the site.

White Male

Shiiit — by30yob at13/11/18 (Tue) 02:03:29

We got news now